perf: ignore watching files in node_modules

[chenjiahan]

Summary

Update the default watchOptions configuration to improve performance by ignoring node_modules.

This will not affect symlinked resources in monorepo, as symlinked resources are resolved to their real path by default.

Benchmark

Using the benchmark repo for testing: https://github.com/rspack-contrib/build-tools-performance

• Memory usage reduced by 120MB
• dev startup speed increased by 40%
• HMR speed increased by 20~30%

Related Links

• Next.js does not watch node_modules by default: https://github.com/vercel/next.js/blob/56b28ce8f814273b3a991e878731384fb0ebe025/packages/next/src/build/webpack-config.ts#L141
• Vite does not watch node_modules by default: https://vite.dev/config/server-options.html#server-watch
• Twitter votes: https://x.com/rspack_dev/status/1861223088001819115
• [Bug]: Long shutdown time of serve mode rspack#8511

Checklist

• Tests updated (or not required).
• Documentation updated (or not required).

I will update the doc in another PR.

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