[performance] cache more database calls, reduce required database calls overall

[NyaaaWhatsUpDoc]

Description

• updates many of the delete-model database functions to instead of preloading the model, delete the model returning the necessary details for cache invalidation and calling the invalidation hook manually
• updates the list accounts endpoint to use our new style paging logic (needed for cache change below)
• updates go-structr to v0.8.9 which handles needing to check for an empty slice of uncached keys
• updates a number of the list entry related database functions to instead rely on more caches
• consolidates some caches and removes some unused functions

Checklist

• I/we have read the GoToSocial contribution guidelines.
• I/we have discussed the proposed changes already, either in an issue on the repository, or in the Matrix chat.
• I/we have not leveraged AI to create the proposed changes.
• I/we have performed a self-review of added code.
• I/we have written code that is legible and maintainable by others.
• I/we have commented the added code, particularly in hard-to-understand areas.
• I/we have made any necessary changes to documentation.
• I/we have added tests that cover new code.
• I/we have run tests and they pass locally with the changes.
• I/we have run go fmt ./... and golangci-lint run.

[NyaaaWhatsUpDoc]

description now accurately described this PR, only thing that needs fixing is updating the list related tests :)