MNT: Misc updates

[tangkong]

Description

• updates conda recipe to explicitly include setuptools as a build backend, anticipating py3.13's dropping of setuptools from pip's dependency list
• replace isort/flake8 with ruff, in an aggressive setting

Motivation and Context

I really don't know what to title this

Examining the ignore-rules as I moved them into pyproject.toml

• W503, W504: Don’t exist in ruff, conflicts with black (aka ruff format) -- will be dropped
• E203: disallows whitespace before punctuation (,, ;, :) -- I think we can probably re-enable this rule
• E501: Line too long — I’m in favor of enabling this rule, as we’ve already extended our max line length
• E226: whitespace around arithmetic ops — I’m in favor of enabling this rule too, making 40+2 bad style again

I think with ruff format enabled, it's probably reasonable to remove these exceptions altogether

How Has This Been Tested?

N/A

Where Has This Been Documented?

This PR

[tangkong]

whoops forgot to request reviews here

[tangkong]

Again I forgot about this. Merging 👍