DAOS-16721 object: fix coll RPC for obj with sparse layout

[Nasf-Fan]

The old implementation did not correctly calculate some collective object RPC size, and may cause trouble when need bulk data transfer for large collective object RPC. It also potentially affects how to dispatch collective RPCs from leader to other engines.

The patch also addes more sanity check for coll-punch RPC to detect potential DRAM corruption.

Allow-unstable-test: true

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[github-actions]

Ticket title is 'Aurora: mdtest assertion on punch with 530 servers, 2048 * 104 clients'
Status is 'In Progress'
Labels: 'pre_acceptance_issues'
https://daosio.atlassian.net/browse/DAOS-16721