release-22.2: kvserver,clusterversion: {version,feature}-gate lease upgrade logic #88624
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Backport 1/1 commits from #88408 (amends #88613).
/cc @cockroachdb/release
Informs #88301. EnableLeaseUpgrade version gates a change in the lease transfer protocol whereby we only ever transfer expiration-based leases (and have recipients later upgrade them to the more efficient epoch based ones). This was done to limit the effects of ill-advised lease transfers since the incoming leaseholder would need to recognize itself as such within a few seconds. This needs version gating so that in mixed-version clusters, as part of lease transfers, we don't start sending out expiration based leases to nodes that (i) don't expect them for certain keyspans, and (ii) don't know to upgrade them to efficient epoch-based ones.
While here, we also introduce a (hidden, default=true) cluster setting kv.transfer_expiration_leases_first.enabled to feature gate this protocol change.
Release justification: adds a necessary version gate to logic that needs it in multi-version clusters.