release-21.1: sql: materialized view creation rollback leaves behind references

[fqazi]

Backport 1/1 commits from #82087.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

---

Fixes: #82079

Previously, if materialized view creation failed during the back
fill stage, we would properly clean up the view but not any of the
back references. This was inadequate because it would leave to
objects that are not droppable potentially, because of references
to a non-existent object. To address this, this patch will
add code to clean up the back / forward references for materialized
views.

Release note (bug fix): Rollback of materialized view creation
left references inside dependent objects.

Release justification: low risk fix addressing a rollback issue when dropping materialized views

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Patches should only be created for serious issues or test-only changes.
• Patches should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Patches should change as little code as possible.
• Patches should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Patches should not add new functionality.
• Patches must not add, edit, or otherwise modify cluster versions; or add version gates.

If some of the basic criteria cannot be satisfied, ensure that the exceptional criteria are satisfied within.

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters.
• The PM and TL on the team that owns the changed code have signed off that the change obeys the above rules.

Add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this backport.

Some other things to consider:

• What did we do to ensure that a user that doesn’t know & care about this backport, has no idea that it happened?
• Will this work in a cluster of mixed patch versions? Did we test that?
• If a user upgrades a patch version, uses this feature, and then downgrades, what happens?

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is