release-20.2: kvserver: stop transferring leases to replicas that may need snapshots

[aayushshah15]

Backport 1/1 commits from #69696.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

---

This commit disallows the replicateQueue from initiating lease
transfers to replicas that may be in need of a raft snapshot. Note that
the StoreRebalancer already has a stronger form of this check since it
disallows lease transfers to replicas that are lagging behind the raft
leader (which includes the set of replicas that need a snapshot).

In cases where the raft leader is not the leaseholder, we disallow the
replicateQueue from any sort of lease transfer until leaseholdership and
leadership are collocated. We rely on calls to
maybeTransferRaftLeadershipToLeaseholderLocked() (called on every raft
tick) to make sure that such periods of leadership / leaseholdership
misalignment are ephemeral and rare.

Alternative to #63507

Release justification: bug fix

Resolves #61604

Release note (bug fix): Fixes a bug that can cause prolonged
unavailability due to lease transfer to a replica that may be in need of
a raft snapshot.

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Patches should only be created for serious issues.
• Patches should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Patches should change as little code as possible.
• Patches should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Patches should not add new functionality.

If some of the basic criteria cannot be satisfied, ensure that the exceptional criteria are satisfied within.

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters.
• The PM and TL on the team that owns the changed code have signed off that the change obeys the above rules.

Add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this backport.

Some other things to consider:

• What did we do to ensure that a user that doesn’t know & care about this backport, has no idea that it happened?
• Will this work in a cluster of mixed patch versions? Did we test that?
• If a user upgrades a patch version, uses this feature, and then downgrades, what happens?

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is