Small Talk Cheat Sheet

https://www.amazon.com/Fine-Art-Small-Talk-Conversation/dp/1401302262

Business Ice Breakers:

0. What do you do for a living?

1. What's the most difficult part of your job?

2. What's a typical day on your job?

3. What do you enjoy most about your profession?

4. What is the origin of your last name?

5. What got you interested in marketing/research/teaching?

6. How did you come up with this idea?

7. What separates you and your firm from your competition?

8. What do you see as the coming trends in your business?

9. What ways have you found to be most effective for promoting your business?

10. What advice would you give someone just starting in your business?

11. What significant changes have you seen take place in your business since your start?

12. What was the strangest incident you've experienced in your business?

General Ice Breakers

1. Tell me about a movie/book you've seen or read more than once.
2. What would you do if you won a million dollars?
3. Tell me about some of your New Year's resolutions.
4. What's your favorite thing to do alone?
5. Describe a memorable teacher you had.
6. Who is the most famous person you've met?
7. Describe an embarrassing moment you've had.
8. Tell me something most people would never guess about you.
9. Describe your ideal weather and why.
10. What languages can you speak?
11. Can you play any musical instruments?
12. Who were your idols as a kid?

Verbalize your listening:

• Interested in hearing more: Tell me more. What was that like for you?
• Taking it all in: Hmmm, I see...
• Responding positively: How interesting! What an accomplishment!
• Diverging: On the other hand, what do you think...?
• Expanding on the idea: Along that same line, do you...? Why?
• Arguing/refuting: What proof do you have of that?
• Involving yourself: Could I do that? What would it mean to me?
• Clarifying: I'm not sure I'm clear on your feelings about...
• Empathizing: That must have been tough/frustrating, et cetera.
• Probing: What do you mean by that? How were you able to manage?
• Seeking specifics: Can you give me an example?
• Seeking generalities: What's the big picture here?
• Looking to the future: What do you think will happen next?
• Reviewing the past: What happened first?
• Seeking likenesses/differences: Have you ever seen anything like this? What's the opposing point of view?
• Seeking extremes/contrasts: What's the downside? What's the optimum?

Redirecting the conversation to another topic:

• That reminds me of...
• When you were talking about ______, I remembered...
• You know, I was just reading in the paper about...
• I've always wanted to ask you...
• I thought of you when I heard...
• Do you mind if I change the subject?
• There's something I've wanted to ask of someone with your expertise.

10 Tips for tip-top listening:

1. Learn to want to listen.You must have the desire, interest, concentration, and self-discipline.
2. To be a good listener, give verbal and visual cues that you are listening.
3. Anticipate excellence. We get good information more often when we expect it.
4. Become a "whole body" listener: Listen with your ears, your eyes, and your heart.
5. Take notes. They aid retention.
6. Listen now, report later. Plan to tell someone what you heard, and you will remember it better.
7. Build rapport by pacing the speaker. Approximate the speaker's gestures, facial expressions, and voice patterns to create comfortable communication.
8. Control internal and external distractions.
9. Generously give the gift of listening.
10. Be present, watch the tendency to daydream. Don't drift off from conversations.

With acquaintances use:

• Bring me up to date on...
• What's been going on with work since I last saw you?
• What has changed in your life since we spoke last?
• How's your year been?
• What's new with the family?