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refactor(cli): updated jokes to just programming ones (#6469)
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@shairez
shairez authored Jun 10, 2024
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Showing 1 changed file with 44 additions and 148 deletions.
192 changes: 44 additions & 148 deletions packages/create-qwik/src/helpers/jokes.json
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[
["Dad, can you put my shoes on?", "I don't think they'll fit me."],
["What do ghosts call their true love?", "Their ghoul-friend"],
["How do the trees get on the internet?", "They log on."],
["Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?", "Random Dude: [...💘]"],
["How do you find Will Smith in the snow?", " Look for fresh prints."],
["Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?", "Because he was a fungi."],
["Why is peter pan always flying?", "Because he neverlands"],
["How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?", "Your head hits the ceiling!"],
["How do you fix a broken pizza?", "With tomato paste."],
["Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?", "To make ends meat."],
["What time is it?", "I don't know... it keeps changing."],
["What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?", "Don't look I'm changing!"],
["What do you call someone with no nose?", "Nobody knows."],
["Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?", "Lack of concentration."],
["What did the say to the ?", "Nice belt."],
["What animal is always at a game of cricket?", "A bat."],
["Why did the tomato blush?", "Because it saw the salad dressing."],
["What’s E.T. short for?", "He’s only got little legs."],
["What did the beaver say to the tree?", "It's been nice gnawing you."],
["What do you call a girl between two posts?", "Annette."],
["What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?", "A stick."],
["What do you do on a remote island?", "Try and find the TV island it belongs to."],
["Why did the barber win the race?", "He took a short cut."],
["Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?", "In a nutshell, it's an oak tree."],
["What do you call a belt made out of watches?", "A waist of time."],
["How many lips does a flower have?", "Tulips"],
["Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?", "They say he made a mint."],
["I Got Hit In the Head By A Soda Can, But It Didn't Hurt That Much...", "It was a soft drink."],
[
"When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?",
"Yep, people are just dying to get in there"
],
["What did the fish say when it hit the wall?", "Dam."],
["Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?", "Never mind...it's tearable"],
["What did the big flower say to the littler flower?", "Hi, bud!"],
["What's the best thing about elevator jokes?", "They work on so many levels."],
["Why can't your nose be inches long?", "Because then it'd be a foot!"],
["Why does Superman get invited to dinners?", "Because he is a Supperhero."],
["What's red and bad for your teeth?", "A Brick."],
[
"What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?",
"You can tune a guitar but you can't \"tuna\" fish!"
],
["Why did the coffee file a police report?", "It got mugged."],
["What do you do when you see a space man?", "Park your car, man."],
["What do you give a sick lemon?", "Lemonaid."],
["Where do rabbits go after they get married?", "On a bunny-moon."],
["What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?", "A spelling bee."],
["How does the moon cut his hair?", "Eclipse it."],
["What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk?", "A fowl smell!"],
["Why do crabs never give to charity?", "Because they’re shellfish."],
["did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?", "they were cooked in Greece"],
[
"Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?",
"It reads \"Small medium at large.\""
],
["A termite walks into a bar and says...", "'Where is the bar tended?'"],
[
"Why do chicken coops only have two doors?",
"Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans"
],
["What's the best thing about a Boolean?", "Even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit."],
[
"If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program",
"the rest of them will write Perl"
],
["Why did the developer stay at home?", "Because he couldn't find his keys."],
["How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?", "None that's a hardware problem"],
["A user interface is like a joke.", "If you have to explain it then it is not that good."],
["['hip', 'hip']", "(hip hip array)"],
["A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...", "'Can I join you?'"],
["Which song would an exception sing?", "Can't catch me - Avicii"],
["A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks:", "'Can I JOIN you?'"],
["Why did the developer go to therapy?", "He had too many unresolved issues."],
[
"Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?",
"Because they use a strongly typed language."
Expand All @@ -80,90 +16,50 @@
["To understand what recursion is...", "You must first understand what recursion is"],
["The punchline often arrives before the set-up.", "Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?"],
["Why did the programmer quit his job?", "Because he didn't get arrays."],
["How do you check if a webpage is HTML?", "Try it out on Internet Explorer"],
["Why was the computer tired when it got home?", "It had a hard drive."],
[
"There are 10 types of people in this world...",
"Those who understand binary and those who don't"
],
["Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?", "Because Oct == Dec "],
["Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?", "Because Oct 31 == Dec 25"],
["I was gonna tell you a joke about UDP...", "...but you might not get it."],
["How do you get a squirrel to like you", " Act like a nut."],
["Why did the math book look so sad", " Because of all of its problems!"],
["What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament", " Live stream."],
["Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself", " It was two tired."],
["Why did the scarecrow win an award", " Because he was outstanding in his field."],
["I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.", " I’ll let you know"],
["How do you make a Kleenex dance", " Put a little boogie in it!"],
[
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!",
" It's impossible to put down!"
],
["Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom", " Because the 'P' is silent."],
["I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!", " Sometimes he laughs!"],
[
"I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!",
" I can do it with my eyes closed!"
],
["How do you make a tissue dance", " You put a little boogie in it."],
["What do you call cheese that isn't yours", " Nacho cheese."],
["What kind of shoes do ninjas wear", " Sneakers!"],
["What do you call a fake noodle", " An impasta."],
["I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.", " It was pointless"],
["I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.", ""],
["Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip", " I was heels over head!"],
["What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer", " The space bar."],
["What time did the man go to the dentist", " Tooth hurt-y."],
[
"It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.",
" It's a faux pa"
],
["What did the fish say when he hit the wall", " Dam."],
["I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.", " They're always up to something"],
["What do you call someone with no body and no nose", " Nobody knows."],
["Did you hear the rumor about butter", " Well, I'm not going to spread it!"],
["I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me.", null],
["What's brown and sticky", " A stick."],
["Can February March", " No, but April May!"],
["Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!", " They make up everything!"],
["Why don't eggs tell jokes", " They'd crack each other up."],
["Did you hear about the circus fire", " It was in tents."],
["How do lawyers say goodbye", " We'll be suing ya!"],
["When does a joke become a dad joke", " When it becomes apparent."],
["Wanna hear a joke about paper", " Never mind—it's tearable."],
["What did the coffee report to the police", " A mugging."],
["Dad, can you put my shoes on", "No, I don't think they'll fit me."],
["How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh", " Ten tickles."],
["Dad, did you get a haircut", "No, I got them all cut!"],
[
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.",
" So I packed up my stuff and right!"
],
["Why do bees have sticky hair", " Because they use a honeycomb."],
["Which state has the most streets", " Rhode Island."],
["I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.", " I see food and I eat it"],
["Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke", " He won the 'no-bell' prize."],
["How does a penguin build its house", " Igloos it together."],
["What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter", " An irrelephant."],
["I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.", " It's a total rip-off"],
["Dad, can you put the cat out", "I didn't know it was on fire."],
["What concert costs just 45 cents", " 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!"],
["Why are elevator jokes so classic and good", " They work on many levels."],
["Is this pool safe for diving", " It deep ends."],
["Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Cows go. \n Cows go who?", "No, cows go moo."],
[
"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Little old lady. \n Little old lady who?",
"I didn't know you could yodel!"
],
[
"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n A broken pencil. \n A broken pencil who?",
"Never mind. It's pointless."
],
[
"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Opportunity.",
"That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!"
],
["Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Hatch. \n Hatch who?", "Bless you!"],
["Man said: I changed my Mind, Machine replied: I changed my CPU"],
["Man said: I dreamed of God, Machine replied: I dreamed of Rust"],
["Person: give me just a second, Programmer: give me just a 100 milliseconds"]
["Normal People: give me just a second", "Developers: give me 100 milliseconds!"],
["Why do programmers prefer dark mode?", "Because light attracts bugs."],
["Why don't programmers like nature?", "It has too many bugs."],
["Why was the computer freezing?", "It left its Windows open!"],
["What did the Java code say to the C code?", "You've got no class."],
["Why did the programmer always carry a pencil?", "In case he needed to draw bugs."],
["Why do programmers prefer the outdoors?", "Because it's free of bugs."],
["Why do programmers love movies?", "Because they can 'script' the ending."],
["why do desert animals hate Qwik?", "Because there's no hydration...."],
["What can you do if you cannot push your git changes?", "Use the --force, Luke"],
["How did the developer announce he's getting married?", "'She returned true!'"],
["How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?", "Yes."],
["Why did the developer ground their kid?", "They weren't telling the truthy"],
["!false", "It's funny 'cause it's true."],
["Where did the parallel function wash its hands?", "Async"],
["How do functions break up?", "They stop calling each other"],
["Why did the functions stop calling each other?", "Because they had constant arguments."],
["What's the second movie about a database engineer called?", "The SQL."],
["What did the computer do at lunchtime?", "NoSQL."],
["Why doesn't Hollywood make more Big Data movies?", "Had a byte!"],
["What does a baby computer call his father?", "Data!"],
["I never tell the same joke twice", "I have a DRY sense of humor."],
["How do programming pirates pass method parameters?", "ARRRRRGS."],
["Why don't bachelors like Git?", "Because they are afraid to commit."],
["Why do astronauts use Linux?", "They can't open Windows in space!"],
["How do front end devs like their brownies?", "GUI"],
["What do hackers do on a boat?", "Phishing."],
["Why couldn't the HTML list be trusted?", "There were LI's everywhere"],
["To the person who invented zero:", "Thank's for nothing!"],
["What do you call a bee that lives in America?", "A USB"],
["want about to a race conditions hear joke?", ""],
["What is a Package Managers favorite holiday?", "Dependency Day"],
["Where do we get all of these dad jokes from?", "A dad-a-base!"],
["What advice do you give to a JS developer who has never played baseball?", "Try catch."],
["We don't have any DNS jokes, know why?", "Because it may take 24 hours to get them"],
["Why do Front-End Developers eat lunch alone?", "Because they don't know how to join tables."],
["How do you help JS errors?", "You `console` them!"],
["When do front end developers go out to eat?", "On their lunch <br>."],
["What do you call optimistic front-end developers?", "Stack half-full developers."]
]

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