Skip to content
New issue

Have a question about this project? Sign up for a free GitHub account to open an issue and contact its maintainers and the community.

Sign up for GitHub

By clicking “Sign up for GitHub”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy statement. We’ll occasionally send you account related emails.

Already on GitHub? Sign in to your account

Spacing and grammar corrections to 'Who wants a mechanical man'. #8

Merged
merged 1 commit into from
Feb 16, 2016
Merged

Spacing and grammar corrections to 'Who wants a mechanical man'. #8

Changes from all commits
Commits
Show all changes
1 commit
Select commit
File filter

Filter by extension

Filter by extension
Conversations
Failed to load comments.
Loading
Jump to
Jump to file
Failed to load files.
Loading
Diff view
Diff view
109 changes: 53 additions & 56 deletions text/text.md
View file
Open in desktop
Original file line number Diff line number Diff line change
Expand Up @@ -141,72 +141,69 @@ had their eyes set on me and their walk was taking them towards me.
Who wants a mechanical man?
---------------------------------------------

What did they look like, you say? Well, they had a pretty normal face and hair and cloth-colored cloth; they were nondescript
besides what I have already said. Although they
had probably not been mugged yet because one of the dandies had his
demeanor bolted on, instead of having been born into it. Strong but
nondescript too. Or nondescript for a those-fists-mean-business
meaning of the word.

Being approached by these two guys I kind of put myself in a position
where, if bad came to worse, I could have many
options. Walked away from the wall, squinted to see what they were up
to, put my hands in a fist and out of the pockets.
Was not afraid, though, although they also seemed to avoid the glare and had
their caps set just so you could not really see their face. So
that you could not describe it later. That is why they were
nondescript. Hey, said that already. You weren't listening?

As they approached, the non-strong non-descript guy seemed to be the one that was going to
do the talking, which he started to do as soon as he possibly could
without shouting. After touching their caps managing not to reveal
even a tiny bit more of their faces and exchanging pleasantries, which was the right
thing to do for well-educated gentlemen that we all were, they offered
me a cigar which I rejected because I don't smoke, as you might have
already noticed, and went down to business, not-strong in front of me
and fists-mean-business by my side and slightly behind me. He really
meant business that way too. Still not afraid, because I still had
What did they look like, you say? Well, they had pretty normal faces and hair and
cloth-colored cloth; they were nondescript besides what I have already said.
Although they'd probably not been mugged yet because one of the dandies had his
demeanor bolted on, instead of having been born into it. Strong, but nondescript
too. Or nondescript in a those-fists-mean-business meaning of the word.

Being approached by these two guys I kind of put myself in a position where, if
worse came to worse, I had a few options. I walked away from the wall, squinted
to see what they were up to and put my hands in a fist and out of my pockets.
I wasn't afraid though. They also seemed to avoid the glare and had
their caps set just so you couldn't really see their faces. So that you couldn't
describe them later. That's why they were nondescript. Hey, said that already!
You weren't listening?

As they approached, the non-strong, non-descript guy seemed to be the one that was
going to do the talking, which he started to do as soon as he possibly could
without shouting. After touching their caps and managing not to reveal
even a tiny bit more of their faces, we exchanging pleasantries. That was the right
thing to do for the well-educated gentlemen that we all were. They offered
me a cigar which I rejected because I don't smoke, as you might've
already noticed, and we got down to business, with Not-strong in front of me
and Fists-mean-business by my side and slightly behind me. He really
meant business that way too. Still wasn't afraid, because I still had
options. One of them, by the way, was to listen to them and eventually
do business.

No, Gummy, I didn't hit them. Why should I? I was down on my luck. If
two nondescript persons make an offer, or one does while the other has
an slightly threatening posture, you listen to them. One's got to earn
a living, and I was just thinking about doing the same the Republic
No, Gummy, I didn't hit them! Why should I? I was down on my luck. If
two nondescript people make an offer, or one does while the other has
a slightly threatening posture, you listen to them. One's got to earn
a living, and I was just thinking about doing the same as the Republic
did with those imperialistic airships. No harm done if no harm is
done, right? Well, you know now that some harm would be *eventually*
done. But I didn't know back then.

Besides, their words and general demeanor told me that a good living it might be, too. Ten thousand pesos on the spot,
ten thousand more when I got them something, which they really, really
wanted for no particular reason. They were collectors. They had a hardware
store. They liked shiny, rolling things. Those were a few of the
reasons they offered for wanting the mech, which they called Manuel
the Mechanical Man. Which they told me was, metaphorically speaking,
I know, Duke, you like when I speak metaphorically, kicking dust in a
circus.

Before that sunny day in the Mobile docks, I had never heard of the
thing. What was my business before that day, do you want to know? Dock hand, I
just told you, Dale. Damn, do you want to hear the story or not?
You had heard about that Manuel that is now stashed in the moored
wagon before I showed up here with it? Well, I hadn't, I was not so
done, right? Well, you know now that some harm would be done *eventually*.
But I didn't know back then.

Besides, their words and general demeanor told me that a good living it might
be, too. Ten thousand pesos on the spot, ten thousand more when I got them
something, which they really, really wanted for no particular reason. They were
collectors. They had a hardware store. They liked shiny, rolling things. Those
were a few of the reasons they offered for wanting the mech, which they called
Manuel the Mechanical Man. Which they told me he was, metaphorically speaking.
I know, Duke, you like when I speak metaphorically, kicking dust in a circus.

Before that sunny day on the Mobile docks, I had never heard of the thing.
What was my business before that day, you want to know? Dock hand, I
just told you, Dale! Damn, do you want to hear the story or not?
You'd heard about the 'Manuel' that's now stashed in the moored
wagon before I showed up here with it? Well, I hadn't, I wasn't so
well informed and educated as you all apparently are in this
jungle. Why did they ask me? I was strong and young and confident. I
still am. Do you want to wrestle? Gee, Dale, how the fuck do you want
me to know that? For all I knew, they had asked every other guy
walking in the docks! And I might have been the only one wanting to
listen to them and to the job, even if I had never heard about
jungle. Why did they ask me? I was strong and young and confident. Still am.
Do you want to wrestle? Gee, Dale, how the fuck do you expect
me to have known that? For all I knew, they'd asked every other guy
walking the docks! And, I might've been the only one wanting to
listen to them and to the job, even if I'd never heard about
anything like that.

Which is why the speaking non-descript man described it for me,
Which is why the speaking, non-descript man described it for me,
just in case I got it wrong and got them a kicking watering can or the
tin man from the Wizard of Oz.
Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz.

"This gimmick Manuel you've got to get us is like a a rolling
teakettle with ears," he told me.
"This gimmick Manuel you've got to get us is like a a rolling teakettle
with ears." he told me.

A rolling teakettle with ears
A rolling teakettle with ears.
------------------------------------

*revise and write*
Expand Down