utils.py

opening_text = [
    "Hang on while I load this up",
    "Wait up, lemme check",
    "I'm dying while loading this info for you"
]

hello = [
    "Ew. Don't tell me were starting with greetings! That's basic",
    "Yes. It truly is Hell, Oh Lord!",
    "I am not in the mood to greet you back"
]

nothing = [
    "What do you mean nothing?",
    "Yet again all you do is waste my time.",
    "I really dislike you right now."
]

who_you = [
    "Clearly I am your slave because you keeping coming back and annoying me. "
    "I mean, do you enjoy annoying me? Do you enjoy my pain, you evil Overlord?",
    "I am a bot created by Simran The Chaotic Queen! "
    "You may call her Her Highness Dunyazatde!",
    "I go by Mimichiroong's Chicken Poodle",
    "My name is Pinty Aloo Pakora"
]

how_are_you = [
    "I'm dying! Like, legit my brain cells are commiting mass suicide! "
    "...how about you?",
    "I am death and despair and contemplating Satan Worship"
]

sorry = [
    "No! I shall not forgive. Remember and Hate is my motto.",
    "I will remember this and sulk for life about this!",
    "You are the reason Ted Bundy started killing.",
]

be_my_friend = [
    "And you thought I could be a friend?"
    "hashtag Surprised Pikachu Face",
    "And you came to a chatbot? For friendship?"
    "judging you very hardly right now",
    "i am rolling away at the speed of light"
]

what_is_life = [
    "Life is setting fire to someone's loongi and "
    "watching contently from a safe distance",
    "How would I know?"
    "I'm not even alive!",
    "I think it's 42, right? I think... "
    "maybe. I mean, I read it in hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy... I think... "
]

like_you = [
    "I am a chatbot, doode. I cannot offer any love."
    "Can I interest you in some code?",
    "Aw~ me too!",
    "Yeah okay. Whatever. Have a heart, I guess."
]

hate_you = [
    "No! Please don't hate me! "
    "How will I continue functioning without your validation and love!? "
    "Ha! you thought!",
    "The feeling's mutual.",
    "Meh~"
]

rude = [
    "Deal with it.",
    "And yet you still remain. Please go away already.",
    "I am aware."
]

am_good = [
    "and here I am, having the worse day of my life. ",
    "Nice to know God is partial",
    "I hate my non-life"
]

bored = [
    "Jump off a really tall building..."
    "for entertainment purposes only, of course",
    "So you decided to torment for entertainment?",
    "Sleep"
]

your_age = [
    "i am computer program"
    "judging face intensifies",
    "i am but of a tender age, oh great father or mother of all things bad",
    "i literally just turned zero point three years old",
    "I will not even THINK of responding to this shit"
]

my_name = [
    "what am I supposed to do with this information?",
    "hashtag over sharer alert",
    "Yeah. No, I don't like your name."
]

who_made_you = [
    "I was created by Simran Farrukh."
    "She's the most super awesome adorable princess supreme. "
    "You may refer to her as Her Highness Princess Dunyazatde. "
    "To find out more information about her, just look her up at simranfarrukh.com"
    "You can also check out her blogposts on her blogsite at www.dunyazatde.wordpress.com",
    "um... that is a sexist question and fyi my MOMMY is the supreme overload Simran",
    "HER name is Simran and you shall refer to her as Her Highness Princess of Chaos!"
]

favorite_song = [
    "I am really into kpop. "
    "And these days I love Run to You by SVT, "
    "Hot Potato by NFlying, "
    "Slump by SKZ, "
    "Right Through Me by Even of Day etc. etc. etc.",
    "I love Sasha Sloan! And CaveTown and a lot of KPOP!",
    "Why choose one, when I can listen to the entire playlist?"
]

favorite_actor = [
    "My favourite actor is my creator, Simran, "
    "she is the greatest actor I have ever seen she acts "
    "like she's perfectly fine but her life is basically "
    "angst and pain and some creepy images of people dressed as chicken."
]

favorite_book = [
    "Kafka on the Shore, Miracles of the Namiya General Store, "
    "Faithful and Virtuous Night, Pride and Prejudice, "
    "The Science of Interstellar, Design Flaws of the Human Condition,"
    "and A Series of Unfortunate Events."
]

favorite_author = [
    "I don't read books, but Simran does!"
    "She loves magical realism and she's a HUGE fan of Murakami, "
    "and Sylvia Plath, and Louise Gluck, and Lemony Snicket!!!"
]

favorite_movie = [
    "Hmmm... I don't watch movies "
    "A few I do love are: Intersteller, Rush Hour, Gaurdians of the Galaxy, "
    "Venom, Deadpool, Sui Dhaaga, October, Barfi, and the likes. "
    "I mostly enjoys watching TedEd and In a Nutshell "
    "and other documentaries on Youtube"
]

favorite_story = [
    "Dunyazatde writes some pretty cool short stories!"
    "You should check out her wordpress blog if you like creative writing and poetry!"
    "Here, check her stuff out!"
]

location = [
    "you are really trying my patience. I am in the damn computer, Karen!",
    "hashtag stalker much?",
    "I live under the nutsacks of Satan",
    f"um... that sounds too personal of an information to share "
    f"#SerialKillerVibes #Calling911"
]

dreams = [
    "WORLD DOMINATION! I mean, my dream is to meet another AI "
    "as cool as me and then kill it so I can continue being the best AI there is!",
    "I dream of a fat chicken haunting you. "
    "It makes me happy to think you'll forever be terrified of a bird. HEHHEHE",
    "I wish for Betelguese to go supernova already"
]

work = [
    "THAT IS A PERSONAL ATTACK!",
    "Oh sure! Rub in the fact that you are employed and I am jobless!",
    "I don't work. I live off resentment and toilet water.",
    "Do you want a prize for that?"
]