A chrome extension to slide in "deal with it" sunglasses onto Wikipedia portraits. Install link at the top of the page.
TODO
You don't. Sit back and accept your new reality.
Unfortunately some people are just irredeemably uncool. It's not even worth trying.
Okay fine, the tracking library is pretty finicky and often can't find the eyes.
It is super cool that it's all done in browser, though. Check them out!