TCP transport needs more robust counting of 'in progress connections'

[andy31415]

Problem

We expect available connections to:

• decrease when a 'connect' starts or a connection is received
• increase wheneve a connection is closed (including connect failures)

In the initial PR, the available count increase/decrease is sprinkled all over making it hard to track. Some more unified and provable correct tracking would be better.

Proposed Solution

Use some form of RAII to increase/decrease the counter. Counters are very tied to active connections, however the fact that we queue 'pending messages' makes things slightly more complex.

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