diff --git a/scripts/attempt-backport.js b/scripts/attempt-backport.js
deleted file mode 100644
index 3a95d9b7..00000000
--- a/scripts/attempt-backport.js
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,241 +0,0 @@
-'use strict'
-
-const { spawn } = require('child_process')
-const debug = require('debug')('attempt-backport')
-const request = require('request')
-const { fetchExistingThenUpdatePr, removeLabelFromPR, getBotPrLabels } = require('../lib/node-repo')
-
-const enabledRepos = ['node']
-const nodeVersions = [
-  { version: 7 },
-  { version: 6, lts: true },
-  { version: 4, lts: true }
-]
-const queue = []
-let inProgress = false
-
-module.exports = function (app) {
-  if (!global._node_repo_dir) return
-
-  app.on('pull_request.opened', handlePrUpdate)
-  // Pull Request updates
-  app.on('pull_request.synchronize', handlePrUpdate)
-
-  // to trigger polling manually
-  app.get('/attempt-backport/pr/:owner/:repo/:id', (req, res) => {
-    const owner = req.params.owner
-    const repo = req.params.repo
-    const prId = parseInt(req.params.id, 10)
-    const options = { owner, repo, prId, logger: req.log }
-
-    if (~enabledRepos.indexOf(repo)) {
-      for (const node of nodeVersions) {
-        queueAttemptBackport(options, node.version, !!node.lts)
-      }
-    }
-
-    if (!inProgress) processNextBackport()
-
-    res.end()
-  })
-}
-
-function handlePrUpdate (event, owner, repo) {
-  if (!~enabledRepos.indexOf(repo)) return
-
-  if (event.pull_request.base.ref !== 'master') return
-
-  const prId = event.number
-  const options = { owner, repo, prId, logger: event.logger }
-
-  debug(`/${owner}/${repo}/pull/${prId} sync`)
-  for (const node of nodeVersions) {
-    queueAttemptBackport(options, node.version, !!node.lts)
-  }
-
-  if (!inProgress) processNextBackport()
-}
-
-function processNextBackport () {
-  const item = queue.shift()
-  if (!item) return
-
-  if (typeof item !== 'function') {
-    debug(`item was not a function! - queue size: ${queue.length}`)
-    return
-  } else if (inProgress) {
-    debug(`was still in progress! - queue size: ${queue.length}`)
-    return
-  }
-  item()
-}
-
-function queueAttemptBackport (options, version, isLTS) {
-  queue.push(function () {
-    options.logger.debug(`processing a new backport to v${version}`)
-    attemptBackport(options, version, isLTS, processNextBackport)
-  })
-}
-
-function attemptBackport (options, version, isLTS, cb) {
-  // Start
-  gitAmAbort()
-
-  function wrapCP (cmd, args, opts, callback) {
-    let exited = false
-
-    if (arguments.length === 3) {
-      callback = opts
-      opts = {}
-    }
-
-    opts.cwd = global._node_repo_dir
-
-    const cp = spawn(cmd, args, opts)
-    const argsString = [cmd, ...args].join(' ')
-
-    cp.on('error', function (err) {
-      debug(`child_process err: ${err}`)
-      if (!exited) onError()
-    })
-    cp.on('exit', function (code) {
-      exited = true
-      if (!cb) {
-        debug(`error before exit, code: ${code}, on '${argsString}'`)
-        return
-      } else if (code > 0) {
-        debug(`exit code > 0: ${code}, on '${argsString}'`)
-        onError()
-        return
-      }
-      callback()
-    })
-    // Useful when debugging.
-
-    cp.stdout.on('data', (data) => {
-      options.logger.debug(data.toString())
-    })
-    cp.stderr.on('data', (data) => {
-      options.logger.debug(data.toString())
-    })
-
-    return cp
-  }
-
-  function onError () {
-    if (!cb) return
-    const _cb = cb
-    setImmediate(() => {
-      options.logger.debug(`backport to ${version} failed`)
-
-      if (!isLTS) {
-        options.logger.debug(`Should have added (but temporary disabled): dont-land-on-v${version}.x`)
-      } else {
-        getBotPrLabels(options, (err, ourLabels) => {
-          if (err) {
-            options.logger.error(err, 'Error fetching existing bot labels')
-            return
-          }
-
-          const label = `lts-watch-v${version}.x`
-          if (!ourLabels.includes(label)) return
-
-          removeLabelFromPR(options, label)
-        })
-      }
-
-      setImmediate(() => {
-        inProgress = false
-        _cb()
-      })
-    })
-    cb = null
-  }
-
-  function gitAmAbort () {
-    // TODO(Fishrock123): this should probably just merge into wrapCP
-    let exited = false
-    options.logger.debug('aborting any previous backport attempt...')
-
-    const cp = spawn('git', ['am', '--abort'], { cwd: global._node_repo_dir })
-    const argsString = 'git am --abort'
-
-    cp.on('error', function (err) {
-      debug(`child_process err: ${err}`)
-      if (!exited) onError()
-    })
-    cp.on('exit', function (code) {
-      exited = true
-      if (!cb) {
-        debug(`error before exit, code: ${code}, on '${argsString}'`)
-        return
-      }
-      gitRemoteUpdate()
-    })
-  }
-
-  function gitRemoteUpdate () {
-    options.logger.debug('updating git remotes...')
-    wrapCP('git', ['remote', 'update', '-p'], gitCheckout)
-  }
-
-  function gitCheckout () {
-    options.logger.debug(`checking out origin/v${version}.x-staging...`)
-    wrapCP('git', ['checkout', `origin/v${version}.x-staging`], gitCleanFXD)
-  }
-
-  function gitCleanFXD () {
-    wrapCP('git', ['clean', '-fdx'], fetchDiff)
-  }
-
-  function fetchDiff () {
-    options.logger.debug(`fetching diff from pr ${options.prId}...`)
-
-    const url = `https://patch-diff.githubusercontent.com/raw/${options.owner}/${options.repo}/pull/${options.prId}.patch`
-
-    const req = request(url)
-
-    req.on('error', function (err) {
-      debug(`request err: ${err}`)
-      return onError()
-    })
-    req.on('response', function (response) {
-      if (response.statusCode !== 200) {
-        debug(`request non-200 status: ${response.statusCode}`)
-        return onError()
-      }
-    })
-
-    gitAttemptBackport(req)
-  }
-
-  function gitAttemptBackport (req) {
-    options.logger.debug(`attempting a backport to v${version}...`)
-    const cp = wrapCP('git', ['am', '-3'], { stdio: 'pipe' }, function done () {
-      // Success!
-      if (isLTS) {
-        fetchExistingThenUpdatePr(options, [`lts-watch-v${version}.x`])
-      } else {
-        getBotPrLabels(options, (err, ourLabels) => {
-          if (err) {
-            options.logger.error(err, 'Error fetching existing bot labels')
-            return
-          }
-
-          const label = `dont-land-on-v${version}.x`
-          if (!ourLabels.includes(label)) return
-
-          removeLabelFromPR(options, label)
-        })
-      }
-
-      setImmediate(() => {
-        options.logger.debug(`backport to v${version} successful`)
-        inProgress = false
-        cb()
-      })
-    })
-
-    req.pipe(cp.stdin)
-  }
-}
diff --git a/server.js b/server.js
index 41b63ea1..4905df12 100644
--- a/server.js
+++ b/server.js
@@ -6,19 +6,6 @@ const glob = require('glob')
 const logger = require('./lib/logger')
 const { spawnSync } = require('child_process')
 
-if (process.env.NODE_REPO_DIR) {
-  const fs = require('fs')
-  global._node_repo_dir = fs.realpathSync(process.env.NODE_REPO_DIR)
-  const out = spawnSync('git', ['status'], { cwd: global._node_repo_dir })
-
-  if (out.status !== 0) {
-    logger.info(out.stdout)
-    logger.error(out.stderr)
-    logger.error('Bad NODE_REPO_DIR. Backport patch testing disabled.')
-    global._node_repo_dir = false
-  }
-}
-
 const port = process.env.PORT || 3000
 const scriptsToLoad = process.env.SCRIPTS || './scripts/**/*.js'
 const { app, events } = require('./app')