Going to Doctors Tomorrow

[nelsonic]

I have been suffering from moderate¹ and persistent abdominal pain for a while.
I keep hoping that it will "go away" but does not appear to be subsiding.
So going to the Doctor tomorrow to get it checked.

Please DON'T READ Below This Line 🙏 #Personal

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The area that hurts corresponds to the large intestine or "descending colon".

According to my research https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/picture-of-the-abdomen#1
There are a number of "conditions" my pain is symptomatic of.
So I don't want to jump to any conclusions or "self diagnoses" which will inevitably be incorrect.
I just want to see the doctor and find out if there is any "scan" or "test" that can be done.

The effect of the pain often "unignorable" (that's a real word, I checked).
These last few days I've been taking afternoon naps not only because I'm exhausted,
but also to escape the pain; it's really unpleasant.
Even when I sleep I don't feel "rested"; I feel weak.
Which makes it very difficult to concentrate on the work I have to get done. 😞

Historically, I do not "cope" very well with "travelling".
My body "shuts down" and I am unable to use the bathroom for days.
The lack of staying in "one place" or having a good (healthy) food routine is also taking it's toll.
I sometimes go for days without "effective elimination" and I feel like I have a "build up"
that I would medically describe as "constipation" verging on an "intestinal obstruction".

I asked you not to read this ... 🙄

My food poisoning at Christmas was a temporary relief.
It felt horrible at the time when I could not keep anything "down", but the "emptiness" was great!
For a few days I was without pain, but it gradually returned and I lost my "regular movement".

Being with my consistently over-eating (obese) family, and having to conform culturally
with an "evening meal" even when I know it will not help me and I don't need to eat,
is especially infuriating. People simply don't (want to) understand that "3 meals a day" is a super recent phenomena in human evolution/history ... our ancestors didn't use to (over) eat this way! Our Palaeolithic ancestors used to fast (not by choice, but due to food scarcity) which allowed their bodies to rest between meals. Food conservation/storage is a relatively recent development.

The second half of January has been particularly painful.
Starting with the Morocco trip where I only ("successfully") used the toilet for one night
(the night when I skipped dinner and had to apologise for my absence ...
like missing a meal is somehow a crime or an "insult" to the multi-day "birthday girl"...!
but I digress ... the point is Morocco was really bad for me in more ways than one.)

One of the things on my list from IKEA is/was a "bathroom stool".
With the hope of using it as a "squatty potty" for more "effective elimination" ... ("TMI", I know!)
I've put off going to IKEA in the hope that the basement windows would be finished
and I can finally use the Maslow CNC to make my own: https://github.com/nelsonic/bathroom-stool/issues/1

I think the fluctuation in my abdominal (both sub cutaneous and visceral) fat is the cause of the pain.
But it's a localised highly specific area and does not "shift" at all from day to day.
The acuteness of the pain does oscillate depending on a number of things,
So far the only thing that I've found to alleviate the pain is sleep.
Sitting at a desk is the worst as it compresses the area and aggravates the pain.
I know the Doctor will tell me "lose weight" ...
Doctors give every "overweight" person that advice.
No "system" just (go away and) do it.

Last year I managed to burn off 18kg of fat through super-human discipline and effort.
The chap from the DEXA scan said I was in the 99th percentile of fat loss for 3 months,
and I should "keep it up" ...

As you know, last June "one thing lead to another" and I lost "focus"
(or "motivation" or whatever you want to call it ...)
I also completely lost my routine and was subjected to constant visible "junk" in Gerês.

When a person who has historically used "emotional eating" as a "coping mechanism",
has an emotional "blow", and that "down" coincides with the visibility of junk,
the person has a high propensity to want to consume the junk to "comfort" themself.

There's no point me attributing "blame" to whoever left unhealthy food on the counter in Gerês,
or "pointing fingers" at anyone else for late night meals of the wrong things.
It's nobody's "fault" but my own. I am responsible for the food or "junk" that enters my body.

However when I am tired and depressed, my willpower plummets
and my "defences" against sugar, carbs, processed food evaporates.
If I'm still awake at 22:00 and feel exhausted and sad, and the junk is available
I can take down 3 burgers in a single breath without even thinking.
I will hate myself for it in the morning.
But as anyone who has studied basic human psychology knows,
"hating" oneself for something self-inflicted only exacerbates the problem.
If eating is your "fix" and you feel bad for eating (the "wrong" things),
the problem is rapidly compounded and the 18kg of hard lost fat is resumed. 😞

I have tried my best to be "good" since I got the new body mass scales in early December,
but the constant exposure to sugary/proceed foods and exhaustion has often got the better of me.
I have succeeded in maintaining my "exercise streak" ...
I did pushups and squats when I had food poisoning to not "lose" the streak ...
But as we all know ...

Not saying that doing exercise is pointless but even 30 mins of vigorous exercise,
(which is the baseline I have maintained for the last 137 days, amongst other streaks before then!)
is erased by a single piece of toast with butter & jam.
And eating at the "wrong" time of day (which is always the case with family)
compounds the effect because eating too late in the day means glycogen stores are over-filled
and de novo lipogenesis kicks in, i.e. eating late creates fat.
https://paleoleap.com/science-turning-carbs-to-fat-de-novo-lipogenesis/
I've known this for a while and it's the reason I wrote about want to "skip" dinner in: goals.md

It's my own fault for not publishing and sharing my goals with people.
Let's fix that now! cee5a8d
https://github.com/nelsonic/nelsonic.github.io/blob/master/public/goals.md

¹While searching for the appropriate pain threshold word (official medical scale)
(e.g: mild, moderate, acute, sever), I learned a new word today: "catastrophizing". 🙄
which is: "view or present a situation as considerably worse than it actually is."
see: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5043012/
Catastrophizing is similar to hypochondria, people tend to over-estimate the severity of everything.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201611/5-ways-stop-catastrophizing

[iteles]

Let me know what time you would like to leave please and I'll go into town with you 👍

[nelsonic]

@iteles considering going to Clínica Santa Tecla after morning standup. i.e. 09:50 🚗

But I'm also aware that the later I leave it the longer the wait will be ... ⏳
So I could be tempted to go first thing in the morning to avoid the queue ... 🙄
Annoyingly, their website does not list their opening hours ... 😕
But Google is more helpful: 🔍

You definitely don't have to go; it's a waste of your time. ⏳🔥

[iteles]

I called, they recommend being there at 08h45 to fill out the forms before the day shift doctors arrive at 09h00 👍
Took me 30 minutes to get to the house yesterday with mid-afternoon (14h30) traffic.

[nelsonic]

Leaving Tadim at 08:20 then. 🌅

[iteles]

👍 I need to go into town for to go to the town council so I would appreciate coming along 😊

[nelsonic]

@iteles linking to issues watched by many people is a good way to publicise my doctors trip ... 🙄
sure. sounds good. 👍

[nelsonic]

I guess it's my own "fault" for posting this issue.
I'm not bothered. Google knows.

[iteles]

Entirely my bad. 👎

[nelsonic]

@iteles the reference in the other issue does not dissappear simply because you updated the comment ...

Just be more mindful in future ...
Again, I'm not "upset".
Google knows everything.