diff --git a/.gitmodules b/.gitmodules
index 2b79db1d235c..e9d7c0e0e14e 100644
--- a/.gitmodules
+++ b/.gitmodules
@@ -4,9 +4,6 @@
 [submodule "c-deps/jemalloc"]
 	path = c-deps/jemalloc
 	url = https://github.com/cockroachdb/jemalloc.git
-[submodule "c-deps/protobuf"]
-	path = c-deps/protobuf
-	url = https://github.com/cockroachdb/protobuf.git
 [submodule "pkg/ui/yarn-vendor"]
 	path = pkg/ui/yarn-vendor
 	url = https://github.com/cockroachdb/yarn-vendored
diff --git a/BUILD.bazel b/BUILD.bazel
index f799ac84b482..e406acf3de46 100644
--- a/BUILD.bazel
+++ b/BUILD.bazel
@@ -72,7 +72,6 @@ load("@bazel_gazelle//:def.bzl", "gazelle")
 #
 # gazelle:exclude _bazel
 # gazelle:exclude c-deps/krb5
-# gazelle:exclude c-deps/protobuf
 # gazelle:exclude artifacts
 # gazelle:exclude vendor
 # gazelle:exclude .vendor.tmp.*
diff --git a/Makefile b/Makefile
index ebf19b42e303..78d8b4702fe0 100644
--- a/Makefile
+++ b/Makefile
@@ -487,7 +487,6 @@ endif
 
 C_DEPS_DIR := $(abspath c-deps)
 JEMALLOC_SRC_DIR := $(C_DEPS_DIR)/jemalloc
-PROTOBUF_SRC_DIR := $(C_DEPS_DIR)/protobuf
 GEOS_SRC_DIR     := $(C_DEPS_DIR)/geos
 PROJ_SRC_DIR     := $(C_DEPS_DIR)/proj
 LIBEDIT_SRC_DIR  := $(C_DEPS_DIR)/libedit
@@ -512,16 +511,13 @@ BUILD_DIR := $(shell cygpath -m $(BUILD_DIR))
 endif
 
 JEMALLOC_DIR := $(BUILD_DIR)/jemalloc
-PROTOBUF_DIR := $(BUILD_DIR)/protobuf
 GEOS_DIR     := $(BUILD_DIR)/geos
 PROJ_DIR     := $(BUILD_DIR)/proj
 LIBEDIT_DIR  := $(BUILD_DIR)/libedit
 LIBROACH_DIR := $(BUILD_DIR)/libroach$(if $(ENABLE_LIBROACH_ASSERTIONS),_assert)
 KRB5_DIR     := $(BUILD_DIR)/krb5
-# Can't share with protobuf because protoc is always built for the host.
 
 LIBJEMALLOC := $(JEMALLOC_DIR)/lib/libjemalloc.a
-LIBPROTOBUF := $(PROTOBUF_DIR)/libprotobuf.a
 LIBEDIT     := $(LIBEDIT_DIR)/src/.libs/libedit.a
 LIBROACH    := $(LIBROACH_DIR)/libroach.a
 LIBPROJ     := $(PROJ_DIR)/lib/libproj$(if $(target-is-windows),_4_9).a
@@ -543,8 +539,8 @@ C_LIBS_COMMON = \
 	$(if $(target-is-windows),,$(LIBEDIT)) \
 	$(LIBPROJ) $(LIBROACH)
 C_LIBS_SHORT = $(C_LIBS_COMMON)
-C_LIBS_OSS = $(C_LIBS_COMMON) $(LIBPROTOBUF)
-C_LIBS_CCL = $(C_LIBS_COMMON) $(LIBPROTOBUF)
+C_LIBS_OSS = $(C_LIBS_COMMON)
+C_LIBS_CCL = $(C_LIBS_COMMON)
 C_LIBS_DYNAMIC = $(LIBGEOS)
 
 # We only include krb5 on linux, non-musl builds.
@@ -601,7 +597,7 @@ $(BASE_CGO_FLAGS_FILES): Makefile build/defs.mk.sig | bin/.submodules-initialize
 	@echo 'package $(if $($(@D)-package),$($(@D)-package),$(notdir $(@D)))' >> $@
 	@echo >> $@
 	@echo '// #cgo CPPFLAGS: $(addprefix -I,$(JEMALLOC_DIR)/include $(KRB_CPPFLAGS))' >> $@
-	@echo '// #cgo LDFLAGS: $(addprefix -L,$(PROTOBUF_DIR) $(JEMALLOC_DIR)/lib $(LIBEDIT_DIR)/src/.libs $(LIBROACH_DIR) $(KRB_DIR) $(PROJ_DIR)/lib)' >> $@
+	@echo '// #cgo LDFLAGS: $(addprefix -L,$(JEMALLOC_DIR)/lib $(LIBEDIT_DIR)/src/.libs $(LIBROACH_DIR) $(KRB_DIR) $(PROJ_DIR)/lib)' >> $@
 	@echo 'import "C"' >> $@
 
 vendor/github.com/knz/go-libedit/unix/zcgo_flags_extra.go: Makefile | bin/.submodules-initialized
@@ -659,14 +655,6 @@ $(KRB5_DIR)/Makefile: $(C_DEPS_DIR)/krb5-rebuild $(KRB5_SRC_DIR)/src/configure
 	@# We specify -fcommon to get around duplicate definition errors in recent gcc.
 	cd $(KRB5_DIR) && env -u CXXFLAGS CFLAGS="-fcommon"  $(KRB5_SRC_DIR)/src/configure $(xconfigure-flags) --enable-static --disable-shared
 
-$(PROTOBUF_DIR)/Makefile: $(C_DEPS_DIR)/protobuf-rebuild | bin/.submodules-initialized
-	rm -rf $(PROTOBUF_DIR)
-	mkdir -p $(PROTOBUF_DIR)
-	@# NOTE: If you change the CMake flags below, bump the version in
-	@# $(C_DEPS_DIR)/protobuf-rebuild. See above for rationale.
-	cd $(PROTOBUF_DIR) && cmake $(xcmake-flags) -Dprotobuf_WITH_ZLIB=OFF -Dprotobuf_BUILD_TESTS=OFF $(PROTOBUF_SRC_DIR)/cmake \
-	  -DCMAKE_BUILD_TYPE=Release
-
 $(GEOS_DIR)/Makefile: $(C_DEPS_DIR)/geos-rebuild | bin/.submodules-initialized
 	rm -rf $(GEOS_DIR)
 	mkdir -p $(GEOS_DIR)
@@ -736,9 +724,6 @@ $(LIBEDIT_DIR)/Makefile: $(C_DEPS_DIR)/libedit-rebuild $(LIBEDIT_SRC_DIR)/config
 $(LIBJEMALLOC): $(JEMALLOC_DIR)/Makefile bin/uptodate .ALWAYS_REBUILD
 	@uptodate $@ $(JEMALLOC_SRC_DIR) || $(MAKE) --no-print-directory -C $(JEMALLOC_DIR) build_lib_static
 
-$(LIBPROTOBUF): $(PROTOBUF_DIR)/Makefile bin/uptodate .ALWAYS_REBUILD
-	@uptodate $@ $(PROTOBUF_SRC_DIR) || $(MAKE) --no-print-directory -C $(PROTOBUF_DIR) libprotobuf
-
 ifdef is-cross-compile
 ifdef target-is-macos
 geos_require_install_name_tool := 1
@@ -789,10 +774,9 @@ $(LIBKRB5): $(KRB5_DIR)/Makefile bin/uptodate .ALWAYS_REBUILD
 	@uptodate $@ $(KRB5_SRC_DIR)/src || $(MAKE) --no-print-directory -C $(KRB5_DIR)
 
 # Convenient names for maintainers. Not used by other targets in the Makefile.
-.PHONY:  libjemalloc libprotobuf libgeos libproj libroach libkrb5
+.PHONY:  libjemalloc libgeos libproj libroach libkrb5
 libedit:     $(LIBEDIT)
 libjemalloc: $(LIBJEMALLOC)
-libprotobuf: $(LIBPROTOBUF)
 libgeos:     $(LIBGEOS)
 libproj:     $(LIBPROJ)
 libroach:    $(LIBROACH)
@@ -1685,7 +1669,6 @@ c-deps-fmt:
 .PHONY: clean-c-deps
 clean-c-deps:
 	rm -rf $(JEMALLOC_DIR)
-	rm -rf $(PROTOBUF_DIR)
 	rm -rf $(GEOS_DIR)
 	rm -rf $(PROJ_DIR)
 	rm -rf $(LIBROACH_DIR)
@@ -1694,7 +1677,6 @@ clean-c-deps:
 .PHONY: unsafe-clean-c-deps
 unsafe-clean-c-deps:
 	git -C $(JEMALLOC_SRC_DIR) clean -dxf
-	git -C $(PROTOBUF_SRC_DIR) clean -dxf
 	git -C $(GEOS_SRC_DIR)     clean -dxf
 	git -C $(PROJ_SRC_DIR)     clean -dxf
 	git -C $(LIBROACH_SRC_DIR) clean -dxf
diff --git a/build/variables.mk b/build/variables.mk
index 0c051a483714..0fe0471fc05d 100644
--- a/build/variables.mk
+++ b/build/variables.mk
@@ -94,7 +94,6 @@ define VALID_VARS
   LIBGEOS
   LIBJEMALLOC
   LIBPROJ
-  LIBPROTOBUF
   LIBROACH
   LIBROACH_DIR
   LIBROACH_SRC_DIR
@@ -117,8 +116,6 @@ define VALID_VARS
   PROJ_DIR
   PROJ_SRC_DIR
   PROMETHEUS_PATH
-  PROTOBUF_DIR
-  PROTOBUF_SRC_DIR
   PROTOBUF_TARGETS
   PROTO_MAPPINGS
   RACETIMEOUT
diff --git a/c-deps/REPOSITORIES.bzl b/c-deps/REPOSITORIES.bzl
index 9319dedc4904..f249a18b2354 100644
--- a/c-deps/REPOSITORIES.bzl
+++ b/c-deps/REPOSITORIES.bzl
@@ -11,11 +11,6 @@ BUILD_ALL_CONTENT = """filegroup(name = "all", srcs = glob(["**"]), visibility =
 # building those libraries require certain checked out repositories being
 # placed relative to the source tree of the library itself.
 
-# For c-deps/protobuf, we elide a checked in generated file. Already generated
-# files are read-only in the bazel sandbox, so bazel is unable to regenerate
-# the same files, which the build process requires it to do so.
-BUILD_PROTOBUF_CONTENT = """filegroup(name = "all", srcs = glob(["**"], exclude=["src/google/protobuf/compiler/js/well_known_types_embed.cc"]), visibility = ["//visibility:public"])"""
-
 # This is essentially the same above, we elide a generated file to avoid
 # permission issues when building jemalloc within the bazel sandbox.
 BUILD_JEMALLOC_CONTENT = """filegroup(name = "all", srcs = glob(["**"], exclude=["configure"]), visibility = ["//visibility:public"])"""
@@ -37,11 +32,6 @@ def c_deps():
         path = "c-deps/geos",
         build_file_content = BUILD_ALL_CONTENT,
     )
-    native.new_local_repository(
-        name = "protobuf",
-        path = "c-deps/protobuf",
-        build_file_content = BUILD_PROTOBUF_CONTENT,
-    )
     native.new_local_repository(
         name = "jemalloc",
         path = "c-deps/jemalloc",
diff --git a/c-deps/protobuf b/c-deps/protobuf
deleted file mode 160000
index e809d75ecb57..000000000000
--- a/c-deps/protobuf
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1 +0,0 @@
-Subproject commit e809d75ecb5770fdc531081eef306b3e672bcdd2