So i’ve been busy at the shop lately, we got a big order of tables and about thirty...wheelbarrows? I ain’t one to question the boss but I wonder what one can do with so many baskets on wheels. In the afternoon the boss rings me up as I was sanding down my final wheels before assembly, says he’s got an opportunity for me, now I ain’t ever opposed to a promotion, or the possibility of it anyway.
The boss tells me that a new fort was being ran a few days away from the mountain halls and they needed someone capable of working with wood over there, says it’s a perfect opportunity to expand the company and he wants me at the helm! I accepted greedily, lured by the promise of money and potential this job offered, if only I knew. I set off in a hurry, caravan was going off tomorrow, packed my few belongings and tried sleeping, couldn’t even blink I was so excited. If only I knew…
So here I was, with about twenty other bearded compatriots I set off to march towards the hold we were sent to. Boss told me it was called somethin’ like WarAle. Ha! That’s the essence of a dwarf there if I ever seen one! We went on for a few days, walkin’ through rain and hail, nothing stopping us and our ambition. We finally arrived there and…..uh...how do I describe it, it wasn’t what any of us were promised. I don’t know what the folks with me where told but I was promised a glowing beacon of a fort, the last great bastion of dwarves in this gob-filled world. What we got was a shithole. First thing we saw was this wooden box of a shack at the entrance with a wooden bridge acting as the gate. I thought it wasn’t so bad because it’s well known that every dwarven fort is better underground, but when I got there I was pulling on my beard’s braids! We walked to the tavern to announce our arrival and talk to the dwarves, when suddenly, as soon as we started walking down the stairs, we started slipping and falling, the floor was covered with water and it was all oozing out the walls, falling on us. Some like seeing the waterfall but I grew mad every minute I stood there! The idiots dug through two layers of aquifer and just let it flow into the fort! Not even trying to block it!
I got back up and started to angrily walk towards the taverns to talk with the dwarf in charge but was suddenly blinded by the walls and floors. What is this? Who ordered this? I just stood there, eyes wide. The bleedin’ idiots had engraved every single walls and floors! I calmed myself, more stupefied than angry at this point, I walked to the tavern and started talkin’ with the dwarves, they didn’t seem to mind, they were used to it no doubt, I asked them where the craft halls were so I could get started on my job and give good news to the boss. They pointed the me to the hallway I just came from, I was visibly confused, asking them which way I should go to see it. They told me every station was right there in the corridor. At this point I lost it, I bolted towards the dormitories, without saying anything more to the dwarves, drank my flask of rum and passed out.
Since my arrival things have started falling into place, first thing I did was coordinate the construction of a craft hall for my fellow dwarves to work in, while that was being made I set out to plug the leaks in the stairwell so it wouldn’t ruin all my wooden furniture that i’ve been exporting to the capital.
While we fixed the leak it doesn’t change that the bottom half of the stairs is filled with water so i used my knowledge in woodworking to create a pump at the bottom and water wheel on the surface to drain it all. I’m currently sitting at my desk, drawing some plans for future projects while our miners carve out our sewer system and craft hall.
Somehow or other, the dwarves have appointed me as the leader of the fort, must’ve liked my cabinets. We got a big migrant wave, about 22, it was about time we set out on making new rooms for the dwarves, sleeping in the taverns was getting old for a few so I told the miners to carve us some rooms in classic “Pea Pod” style.
One of our farmers came to me today with a petition a “Manifesto of the lower class” as he called it, must have a few screw loose. He told me the farmers were demanding to form a union, I asked him if he meant a guild and he looked at me like I was an elf. Union it is then. I asked the miners to carve out two guild halls next to each other, one for the farmers and the other just in case. I made sure to ask the miners nicely, else they might get ideas to follow in the farmer’s steps.
I always thought the boss of a fortress had a tough job, that I really took a special guy to manage it all like that, but from what i’ve seen here it’s been pretty much smooth sailing. The leaks have been plugged, the engravings hidden and we have proper crafting halls. Only thing of relevance is that the craftsdwarves have demanded a guild as well, I was happy to oblige, hardworking as they are, they deserve a place to polish and display their skills and who knows, maybe I’ll learn thing or two myself.
One thing I forgot to mention before was that my fellow wood crafter built a small wooden doll of himself. He looked at me proud and said it was an artifact, I stood there dumbfounded, ain’t no way, the other dwarves believed him I said it was horseshit, egotistical maniac…
Autumn’s come and things have been getting more stressful lately, we’ve found a big sphalerite deposit and have started to produce cages en masse because we’ve heard rumors that some goblins are mobilizing, we have a gate but...better prepared than dead.
Lately a lot of dwarves have been feeling down, I ask them what’s going on and they say they’re scared of the god’s “Divine retribution” because they haven’t been praying enough, whatever that means. If the gods loved the dwarves we wouldn’t be the last standing fort. Anyway, I ordered for a temple to be build with an altar for two of the most worshipped gods and two generic ones, hope that fixes it. We’ve also gotten attacked by rabid badgers two times, no one’s been hurt, but I think it’s in our best dealin’s to start on a militia, so barracks are now on the way. The miners are getting antsy, they’ve been building everything and nothing’s been treating them right…
Hey wouldja look at that, one of the dwarves got into a crafting fervor and flew off with a few pieces of cloth and leather, came back a few days later with the nicest robe i’ve ever seen. I’ve been admiring it and elevating it as the WarAle artifact. I gave it to the Mayor for safekeeping.
Those damn goblins must’ve heard about the artifact, they’ve arrived. It’s only a small advance party of ten but I won’t take any chances, i’ve called the dwarves in and ordered to shut the gate. The final cage traps were set down a few days back so they’ve arrived in the nick of time to try them out.
By ARMOK I’LL HAVE THE HEAD OF THE KNIFED-EARED TRAITOR WHO DESIGNED THE GATE! The gate wasn’t made to lift, it was made to retract, so when the assigned dwarf pulled the lever which was right next to the gate, hoping for it to close in the goblin’s face, saw it simply lift upwards! Leaving the fort right open for the little shits! If I ever meet the predecessor I’ll have his head! Perchance we had the traps ready and we trapped all but one goblin, which me and the militia, while untrained, punched the little green man into a red one, the captain keeping him in a chokehold while I slammed him with my trusty iron shield I brought from my home. After that I set on completely remodelling the defence, made the training more intense, the security airtight and hired a captain of the guard. There should be no more troubles for now.
This has been a stressful year, too much for me, I ain’t more than a carpenter. I’ve decided to leave this final survey of the fort and hand it to the next one they pick. I’ll focus more on my craft, making chests and cabinets for the new migrants and whatnot, training to be one of the best shield users in the world, heh, ain't got much competition anyway. So here’s the full fort drawn here, I take pride in my drawings, gotta draw plans before building furniture. To the top left is the combined temples, right under is the barracks, to the right is the extended dormitory and a hospital. The crafting hall is at the bottom.
Here’s the farmlands, only three fields but it’s enough for us, to the right are the farmer’s crafting stations and at the bottom is the two guild halls (farmer’s on the right, craftsdwarves on the left) and the food stockpile in the center.
The priest spoke: “We the dwarves hold this ceremony in the honor of our great friend and legendary carpenter, Pop-Tart, as the workers called him. He has died bravely, fighting a horde of more than thirty goblins to buy time for the civilian’s retreat. Even when all his comrades in arms fell beside him, he did not falter, equipped with his formidable iron shield he took blow after blow, slash after slash, pushing back the green hordes until the civilians left, he then departed after a blow to the head, putting the entire fortress in grief. But do not let thine heart be overcome with grief for it’s by his effort that we are all here today. In his honor as this here fortress overseer and craftsdwarf, a mausoleum shall be built, with the finest engraved walls and his mighty shield hung over his tomb. In this day, pop-tart, we lay you to rest. May you watch over us all.”
As the priest’s words stopped and the dwarves ceased their crying and once again started their never-ending work, a secret deal was being made in the mayor’s office, the next day, the robe was gone and never seen again.